Spencer and I did a cover of Weeping Song

I've been drawing a lot lately

Incognito

incense billows,

callous and incognito

from your dark room where you hide like a rat amongst your piles of paper

and books written by all the dead people that I admire

I'm always strangely charmed by the falsely accused romantics

taught by the education system that I am so far removed from

me with my veils and my lyrics that pour 

messily eloquent

down my neck and chest 

to my thighs

and you've always laughed at the way I try so hard

to stay true 

but I need the clarity in your smoked out world

where the confusion hangs tangible in the air

and your truths and falsehoods get mixed up even in your own mind

I back out slowly

arms raised in surrender 

one foot in back of the next

a steady moonwalk out of your life

out of your incense incased room

filled to the brim with all my favorite things

built to impress

and therefore failing to do so

A Night At Tara Thomas's

Today I went to my family friend Tara Thomas's house to work on a music video we're making for my Cap Lori song I Wanna Be A Man. After dressing up in various drag outfits all evening I sleepily crawled into the bed in Tara's lovely closet and fell asleep while watching a movie... Turned out my computer video recorder was on and when I woke up an hour later I had quite a lot of footage of me asleep in her closet room! I've been trying to keep a daily journal so I got up and brought out my journal to write about my day which was altogether very lovely. Here is a clip from my journal and also a few photo of me sleeping. Sadly I'd already removed my mustache so I look a little less manly, but I do like Tara's leather jacket...


Wednesday March 14th 2012

"Laying here surrounded by clothes and Tara's treasures I feel oddly comforted. I know that its raining outside but only because I could hear the rain faintly through the roof while I was in the bathroom washing my face. Inside Tara's home is cushioned and completely shielded from the grey outside world. There are bright colors and patterns and I can hear the sound of the tv seeping through the crack under the closet door. All of this gives me a strange feeling of peace as somehow in the clutter of my surroundings I find quiet comfort in my own mind."

Frank Correa

Frank is an amazing photographer who lives in Seattle. he recently took a handful of photos of Anna and I while she was back visiting Seattle. I love his work! Check out his tumblr here: http://frankcorrea.tumblr.com/

I Am Bach (A Junk Enthusiast)

Oversleep on friday
It is a trivial day
Return to Capitol Hill
Return to Tokyo
We used to go here to haunt
I don't need to meet a new person
There is a counterpoint
I am Bach
A drunken imitation
Come home by taxi
Saturday morning
There's a child acquaintance working
If I just take a walk
There will be many acquaintances
Maybe I can swallow up the whole neighborhood cheaply 

talented and lovely girls 2

Sarah is an amazing makeup artist. I discovered her when she came over to Rose and I's apartment on Halloween and I asked her to do my make up. ever since I've been a bit obsessed with her! She is such a great artist and watching her do makeup makes me feel like she is a painter designing a new face. Paying attention to bone structure and shaping it into something new and exotic... amazing.

Elfy on the dance floor with Ozma who is also very talented and lovely

 Elfy has been one of my favorite people ever since she accompanied me to my brothers wedding this summer. She has amazing fashion that never ceases to inspire me. I have a huge girl crush on her!

 My boss, my friend, my inspiration. This woman is fucking amazing! She is one of those people who silently and diligently creates not for the sake of others but for herself. Whenever I hang out with Elvia I have so many ideas and usually end up bouncing around the room like a 5 year old in my excitement for my future creative projects. I plan to marry this women (creatively) someday and together we will make things that will break your heart.

Elvia and I on a Sunday date

My dearest Rose. When I moved in with her it was first for just a night, then a week, then a month, and then we ended up living together for four months. Our time together at Villa villekulla was very magical and filled with many nights of poetry, champagne, hair metal sing alongs, movies, giggles, and adventures. She has been such a huge inspiration (one of my three girl muses: Anna, Elvia, and Rose!). Her poetry is fucking mind blowing as is her fashion. Living with her meant constantly discovering glitter in my hair and always having someone to make me forget about my troubles. I cannot wait to re-unite with her in Switzerland this summer. <3

Rose and I hungover in bed... that morning she woke me up with chocolate and sparkling water. Dream girl!

song i wrote tonight

Freckles in her eyes (rough)

new years eve goofiness with my lovely girls

Creature Class feb 2nd 2012

I worked at Creature Class on my day off this week. It was at an elementary school I hadn't been to before. there was only 11 students and three of the students were total spazzes. We finally made them sit apart from each other when a boy named Mason spit in a girl named Piper's eye. Once they were separated they quieted down a bit.

I sat with Mason and another girl Nico and work on their creatures. Nico seemed to be obsessed with my divorce and kept asking me why I got divorced and what my ex-husband did that made me want to get a divorce. I tried to be honest without going into detail. I said that sometimes he wasn't that nice to me and the amount of times he was unkind made me just not want to hang out with him anymore. Nico seemed satisfied but Mason thought that my explanation was boring and decided to make his own version of my marriage and divorce. He spent the rest of the class telling me about how I'd faked a british accent during my wedding and therefore it wasn't legal and that my ex-husband basically ended up being a girl in disguise and had been lying to me all along. According to Mason I was left on the alter when my ex-husband and I went back to say our vows (we had to re-do the marriage 'cause I faked that british accent the first time) and my ex-husband decided that he didn't want to marry me anymore. Oh cruel world...

 Anyway, Mason finished his creature and together we named it Earnest (of course!) and then Nico made a super hero that looked like a lemon. I made an owl creature with a mustache. all together it was a successful class! Sadly I forgot my camera at home so I didn't get any photos of the kids... here's my creature:

Microcosmos

This is my favorite documentary from my un-schooling days and today I found out that its on netflix instant streaming!

Ballad Of Boredom (poem by me)

solitudes lonely twin, ennui

with dark hair hanging long around her face

an expression lay there of deepest disgrace

like a beggar girl upon these sheets

dress all torn from the muddy streets

she toils to make her artists mark

upon histories heart

I have hidden all her carefully kept lies

her human lust

her angel sighs

and in return she bestows upon me

inspiration that has kept me free

from her loving arms

her hypnotic embrace

that threatens us all with comforts sweet taste

a sketch from my journal

unedited clip from one of my stories

I've been working on a story from the point of view of a middle aged man, Claude, for the last 6 months. its been pretty consistently from his point of view, but out of the blue today I started writing a chapter from the point of view of one of the side characters. this is one of the clips from her chapter. its from the first time she saw him (when I write from Claude's point of view he has no recollection of this moment, of course. If you ask him they met at the cafe she works at) I'm not sure whether I will end up using this chapter in the finished story, but I like this girl....

 ******

The morning of the 25th of february she awoke with a feeling of considerable satisfaction. her light hair created a veil across her face and upon waking her first view of the world was the soft light coming through her blue curtains seen through layers of criss-crossed hair that sprawled across her face, strands caught childlike between her slightly parted lips. her dreams still moved muddy and reverb-like through her conscious and painted her life momentarily fairytale-esque.

she smiled.

as she rose and prepared for her day she could feel her brain start to work. With that came all the usual human grievances. Her brain climbed steadily into the waking conscious, shaking off the clinging imagery and emotions that filled her dreaming mind.

and what of today? it was a day of work, like most. the rent was due in a few days and she liked to get her check to the landlord before the first, as her mother had taught her when she was young. she felt instantly hurried as the day set in on her mind, but still dressed with care. making sure to line the seams of her stockings along the curve of her calf, cleaning her work shoes so that they appeared a bit less scuffed, and rolling up the pale green sleeves of her uniform to show a bit of her wrist. some girls think you have to show a lot of skin, but she knew that all it took was an artful display of the wrist along with prolonged eye contact to get a decent tip.

out on her apartment steps she sat for a second to smoke. she allowed herself one a day. she had been a smoker since she was fourteen and now she found that moderation brought more satisfaction and kept her parents happy. still, she savored this one cigarette so much that she often went a whole day dreaming of it until she got off work. the first taste was always bliss. but today she wanted it now. she felt her younger self, rash and impulsive, rising to the surface with a strange sort of defiance as if to remind her what bullshit this "adult" life she was building was. this was an easy way to satisfy and quench that part of her.

these where her thoughts as she pulled the smoke deep into her lungs, feeling it slide effortlessly down her throat before releasing it into the air, tilting her head back and watching it float iredescent into the bright blue sky. and then, as she tilted her head back down, she saw him.

he looked worn down, his brow furrowed and his eyes dark around the edges as though he didn't sleep much. he was older too, she guessed around thirty eight, but he stood out somehow in his crumpled button up shirt and his ashy brown hair. It was something in the way his hand fluttered nervous and erratic at his side. first in his pocket then jumping to touch his hair, straighten his shirt which he would only re-muss with a spastic twitch of his shoulder, and then returning to his side to tap impatiently at his thigh. he too was smoking, but it was seemingly without pleasure and when the cigarette was at his lips he made some sort of grimace as if the taste displeased him.

she watched as he walked down the street, unhurried yet tense. As he passed her he threw an irritated glance in her direction and they locked eyes. she smiled slightly and nodded. he blinked, scowled, and looked down again, his hand jumping once more out of his pocket to perform its strange dance. hair, shirt, shoulder twitch, then pocket.
*****

that's all for now. If I end up not using this chapter I might post the whole thing!

dreamy gainsbourg

old video (dark hair in japan!)

crowds and angels (lyrics by me)

the silent air with bruises in its corners

holds us helpless in the rain

how I long for nights with dreaming sleeplessness

filled with his dust and thoughts

that leave him in my brain

gluten's lies with gilded wings

is folding all its ransom into pain

feel my lover toss into a fitful sleep

my laughing eyes

that leave me in his brain

it was just that I was eating up his tears

all that he's become within these years

and my sloven eyes are glowing in the rain
calling out for cravings that we've found

home is like a 

lovely lie its 

in our minds

crowds and angels

laughing careless

what a time

The Clientele obsessed during this rainy winter

disposable camera #2

elfy and frank

happy with champagne and rose

tylar

rose and tylar

E is for Elvia who is Enamored with the massage chair

anna and I make cupcakes. with rum.

murphy!

my love is home for the holidays

anastasia takes pictures

atticus and spencer model on smithsmas while olive lurks in the background with a huge leopard print purse

my present to spencer

my present to mama. I embroidered Nick Cave lyrics onto a handkerchief "all the towers of ivory are crumbling, and the swallows have sharpened their beaks"

atticus

my lovely siblings

mama and spencer

spencer cooks

atti talks

we didn't have a christmas tree. we had a mannequin with a kimono and a feather headdress

da moomz

spencer and I spent christmas eve day emroidering

Shiawase 

Video by Tara Thomas starring my Mama!

behind the scenes of a photoshoot for Twinsistr